Stewardship in the Midst of Difficult Relationships

Few words can create such complex layers of emotions as ‘family.’ Some count family as the greatest blessing the Lord has bestowed upon them. Others consider it to be the greatest curse. What comes to mind as you think of your family? Perhaps it’s a mixture of emotions. Whatever your experience, it’s likely we agree that many aspects are outside of our control.

In Scripture, we see many forms of family: fallen, fractured, and far from ideal. For example, the book of Genesis introduces us to the story of two brothers, Cain and Abel, in which family turmoil spirals out of control and ultimately results in Abel’s murder. We learn of Laban and Jacob, whose relationship is marked by deception. Not to mention the sibling rivalry between Jacob and Esau that leads to long-term estrangement. The New Testament isn’t free from dysfunctional families. Take a look at Ananias and Sapphira, who pretended to give generously in the early church and were immediately struck dead for their hypocrisy (Acts 5:1-11). Dysfunctional families reveal to us the reality of sin entering into the world and upsetting the order that God had created. 

As you look at your own familial relationships, a helpful step is to consider your responsibilities. Do you find yourself frustrated by the generational struggles of unsaid expectations or favoritism that disrupts your family? Or have you found yourself at the mercy of irreversible decisions your parents made?¹ 

At times, we may come to identify primarily as victims and only see the wrongdoings of others rather than seeing ourselves clearly (Ps 19:12-13). May God grant us grace and mercy to see our own responsibility as we reflect on our relationships. What has the Lord called you to steward regarding the specific relationship that you’re thinking of? Perhaps for some, it’s to acknowledge the pain that has occurred. For others, it may be to pray fervently for a repentant and receptive heart. No matter where you fall, we all have something we can steward in difficult relationships. 

I’m not attempting to parse through the rights and wrongs of each person. Instead, I encourage all of us to consider our own next steps as we reflect on the particular relationship that comes to mind while reading this article. How is the Holy Spirit directing us to respond? Is it to gently release the control your heart is seeking? Or is it to practice the courage of picking up your phone to reach out? Maybe wisdom directs us to give the other person space to recognize the impact of their behaviors and the consequences of their words and actions. Take a moment to focus on the voice of the Lord as you lean on him.

At times, it seems easiest to shift the blame to ourselves, but the Lord cautions us from absorbing the burdens and consequences that belong to another. In Galatians 6:1-10, Paul cautions those at the church in Galatia to allow each person to carry his own load (v. 5). It may seem contradictory that he’d just advised them to carry one another’s burdens (v. 2); however, his warning is a both/and, where two truths can exist simultaneously: we fulfill the law of Christ by carrying one another’s burdens and we are also called to test our work as we are responsible for our own thoughts, words, and actions before the Lord. This means that we are not to overstep by dismissing others’ consequences or excusing wrongdoings. We are called to speak truth in love so that we can grow more like Christ (Eph 4:15).

In the end, we aim to say before the Lord that we have sought to steward our relationships faithfully. It’s not about trying to right every wrong but rather about focusing on what the Lord is calling us to in this season. Then, may we entrust the rest to the Lord with a clear conscience, as David shares in Psalm 37:5, “Commit your ways to the Lord; trust in him and he will act.” 

No matter how insignificant or small a step of faith can feel, may the lovingkindness of our Father, exemplified through the life, death, and resurrection of Christ, empower us to consider our responsibilities and equip us with the wisdom to navigate the complexities of difficult relationships. 

Footnotes

1. Abuse of any kind is unacceptable. We are unable to address those complexities in an article like this, but we would invite you to consider some of the resources Fieldstone offers to support those experiencing the impact of abuse and trauma. ↩︎

Pointing people to the Lord is Hyemin’s lifelong calling. As a pastor’s kid who grew up in different cultures, Hyemin enjoys hearing stories of each person she meets...

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