It was an unexpected conversation and a painful one. Sometimes someone you love dearly calls you out. There was a pattern of behavior, I was told, that spoke to my priorities. The pattern was not composed of glaring wrongs, but rather small, minor issues that occurred over a long period of time. My expressed priorities differed from what the pattern had shown this dear friend. The conclusion, drawn from the pattern traced, caused us all deep heartache.
With each small issue brought up, I realized my loved one and I had a different perspective. From my view, each one came with a mitigating circumstance. Each issue was separate and unique. Some of the facts shared were not accurate and didn’t represent my sense of what happened. Welling up in me was the truth, along with a good bit of righteous indignation, that would rip apart the pieces of the puzzle. Things were not being seen in light of all the facts. They had not been balanced with other issues in the dynamic. The conclusion made was not correct. The perspective was tainted. My perspective, of course, was the right one.
Social psychologists call this struggle naive realism–the belief that one’s perspective is absolutely correct and those who see things differently are inherently flawed. God’s Word refers to it in other terms, describing it as stiff-necked, selfish, and stubborn. It’s part of the overt egocentricity that marks our humanity, and it leads to plenty of pain and conflict.
In fact, the Gospels are filled with interactions where Jesus calls his disciples to switch perspectives. One of the most dramatic takes place in Matthew 16:22 between Jesus and Peter. Jesus has delineated his redemptive mission–stating that he will soon suffer and be killed, then on the third day rise again. Peter shudders at the thought of it, and loudly says so; “Never, Lord!” he said. “This shall never happen to you!”
Jesus’ response is swift and succinct: “Get behind me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to me; you do not have in mind the concerns of God, but merely human concerns” (Matthew 16: 23).
Our fallen brain wiring prioritizes our human concerns, thereby shaping our perspectives. Sanctification calls us to see something else. In order to love the Lord with our heart, mind, soul, and strength, and love our neighbors as ourselves (Luke 10:27), we need a nimble perspective. A nimble perspective allows us to consider God’s primary concerns first. It helps us understand how the background and experiences of others shape their concerns. A flexible, malleable perspective is integral to how we process what happens to us in this world. It helps us see God at work in mysterious places, which are his alone. It allows us to reframe suffering. It prompts us to vision cast. The ability to switch perspectives leads to understanding, playing a foundational role in forgiveness and reconciliation.
How do we cultivate a nimble perspective? Here are three ideas to consider:
Remember the overall purpose of life is to glorify God. God’s concern centers on the way his power and presence is acknowledged in every situation. In John 9:1-7, the disciples asked Jesus whether the man before them was blind due to his sin or his parents’ sin. Jesus prompted them to see the man’s struggle from a new perspective, “This happened so that the works of God might be displayed in him” (v. 3).
A nimble perspective allows us to change the questions we ask about life’s circumstances. Instead of focusing on why, we begin to ask how. How is God teaching us? How can we grow in faith in this place? How can our experiences of his power and presence in the past shape our view here?
Learn to depend on God by employing his counterintuitive perspectives. God’s Word is full of examples of how wildly different our ways are than God’s ways. It says that when we admit weakness, we are able to experience God’s strength. It teaches humility and service as the true path to greatness. It stresses transforming our minds instead of conforming them to natural ways of thinking. It advocates overcoming evil with good, and shows hardship as a path to peace and prosperity. Joseph’s conclusion about his years of suffering shows his nimble perspective: “You meant evil against me, but God used it for good…” (Genesis 50:20).
Give up the need to be right all the time. The desire to have the last word, and to underline it as the right word, is a signature pride move. We are limited creatures, so we cannot always be right. A nimble perspective allows us to learn and grow through interactions and is a mark of maturity. Conflict does and will happen.
Learning to be Christ-like through conflict often means learning how to think differently and remain silent. Anger expressed through defensive arguments does not bear the fruit God desires. Being quick to listen and slow to speak does (James 1:19-20).
Of course, Peter’s perspective on Jesus was shaped by who he was, how he experienced life, and the way he understood his circumstances. Like me, Peter tended to think he was right. Like me, he found switching perspectives difficult. In fact, our struggles track like parallel lines. I found it hard to nimbly adjust to what my loved one was saying. Being called out wasn’t comfortable. However, like Peter, when I accepted Jesus' perspective in this hard situation, he set me straight.
After all, Jesus has the most nimble perspective of all. His grace alone dramatically changed his perspective of me. He no longer sees me as just a hot mess of sin. Instead, he sees who I am in him–a beloved daughter of the Most High King. I praise him for this incredible blessing and transformational switch!
Crystal is a Christ-follower, wife, mother, counselor, and friend. She is passionate about connecting others with the truth of God's miraculous power and sustaining presence.
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