When we think about taking a step toward counseling, whether researching options or submitting forms and scheduling an appointment, we may feel uncertain or anxious, and we may be second-guessing if we can muster up the courage to do it. Those are normal apprehensions. Asking for help – admitting we are unable to affect change on our own – is a practice that requires a measure of tender self-awareness and deliberate trust in our Great Helper. 

One of the hindrances to beginning the counseling process can be the confusion we face as we try to assess our concerns and come to conclusions about the areas where we most desire growth. Perhaps we’ve known for quite a while that something needs to change.

• Things “just don’t seem right.”
• Loved ones have expressed concern.
• Disturbing thoughts and patterns linger unresolved.
• Chaos abounds, and hope feels beyond our grasp.
• Coping strategies or previous counseling techniques no longer help.
• Relationships feel complicated or marked by tension, sorrow, or confusion.
• A significant life change has prompted troubling emotions or distress.

How do we summarize our concerns? How can we identify particular impacts we experience or goals we might have that are prompting us to seek help?

We often collaborate with one another on our counseling team at Fieldstone, sharing ideas and resources to help us develop our skills and deepen our understanding of the counseling process. During a recent brainstorming session, several of our counselors offered various questions that might help narrow down areas of concern as you think about the possibility of how counseling could benefit you in your current season. [ Contributions from Fieldstone counselors: Ian Tully, Jonathan Holmes, Danielle Ware, Richard Buesch, Lori Tanaka, and Rachel Dunn.]

Here and now:

• What's hard for you right now?
• Tell me what it’s like to be you today.
• What's the most challenging thing you are facing right now?
• You have a million things to consume your time and energy every day, yet you feel like now is the time to come to counseling. What's driving that decision, and why now versus kicking the can down the road? 

Your inner world:

• What is troubling you and your world?
• What do you daydream about?
• What do you find your heart and mind dwelling on most often?
• What's working, what is not? 
• Where are you experiencing the most frustration? 
• Are there areas of grief, loss, relational or emotional distress? 
• What keeps you awake in the middle of the night? 
• What is life like, given the situation you are in? 
• Say your counseling season has come to an end. What would it look like for you to look back and say, “Counseling was so helpful; I'm a different person now than before."?  
• For additional questions like these, see here.

Past hurts, wounds, or traumatic experiences:

• Do you find yourself experiencing heightened anxiety, emotional distress, anger, or other triggering reactions when you think about or put yourself in proximity to particular situations or people related to a past relationship or event?
• It is important to distinguish between conflict and abuse, which may be a part of what brings people to counseling sometimes. If you aren’t sure what you are experiencing in your relationship, but you know there is distress or confusion, this resource might be a helpful starting place.

Relationships:

• How do your closest companions experience you? Have you asked them?
• Do you experience unresolved conflict or confusion in any particular relationships?
• Describe your support system or close community. If things took a hard turn, who would you reach out to? 

Intensity and impact:

• Which wound hurts the most? Which issue feels like a good place to begin because it holds the most history or lays the foundation for other issues?
• How frequently do you notice “ways of being” that you desire to see changed? 
• Have you sought counseling previously and what was that like? Helpful? Not helpful? 

You may believe you need to have a clear understanding of the problem in order to ask for help, but sometimes, we need a reassuring presence to guide us as we grapple with the complexities of our troubles in order to narrow our focus. A wise and careful counselor will be adept at offering support in early sessions as you identify the problems and concerns, followed by the ongoing work of counseling as you seek out change and growth. 

If you have found yourself wondering if now is the right time to start the counseling process, our team of counselors at Fieldstone would be grateful for the opportunity to come alongside you with biblical hope and help in this season. We have forty-four experienced and skilled counselors and residents, providing counseling services at our offices in Green and Lakewood and remote options in various time zones. We also offer one-time consultations for those wanting to learn more about the kinds of counseling services we offer or for help determining if one of our counselors is the right fit for your needs. 

Fieldstone exists to engage with life’s experiences through biblically-based, Christ-centered, and clinically informed counsel. We currently have openings for counseling with little to no wait time, and we would be honored to help you get started!

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